About to meet that romantic someone from leolist for the first time? Check this guide before packing your suitcase, and avoid common long-distance traps.
So you’ve met someone special on the Web. They are far away from you, but within minutes, distance seems to shrink. The first private chats blew your minds. You could hardly believe that two people had so much in common. This is it, yes? Yes.
The impulse is to meet your new best friend, as quickly as possible. You want a time machine so you can leave yesterday. Why wait? After all, you click so well on the computer and during phone calls. And don’t forget the text conversations that continued well past bedtime.
But check your speed before you ride a cloud out of sight, lover. Here are four things to remember, before Cupid’s arrow grows barbs:
1) Slow down.
If it’s been less than a month, and you two are already planning to meet in person, the pace is too quick. Let the passion fade. Wait until you’ve had at least a few I don’t know anymore if s/he’s the one moments. Even having never met, your reaction on those occasions when one of you discovers a white lie or are otherwise disappointed will say a lot.
It’s good when the two of you heal from those moments later, together. Yet do not be fooled into substituting these emotions in favor of real-world contact. Physical proximity gives you the sounds and scents of another person, their microexpressions, and the way we all look when exhausted or waking up. Wifi cannot transmit all of that yet.
2) Talk to your most trusted friends.
Most people have at least one wise listener in their lives–that honest person who truly cares for you and knows your strengths and weaknesses. Get them alone, and listen to the advice even if you don’t agree.
If you are the host for this lovestruck meeting, arrange a collision between your potential partner and a few whose opinions you admire. Even a short exchange could tell you how your new circle might get along.
Children from previous relationships will also give a good reading of the situation. Pay attention–most of all, to your own instincts. The body knows.
3) Temper your expectations.
Be realistic about this person you’re tumbling over. You are basically starting all over again. Knowing everything about people is not the same as knowing them. Forget this at your peril.
The typed words, photos, and videos may not represent the person accurately. In those moments before you lay eyes on each other, focus on simply loving your potential as they are. For both to be so accepting is rare. All of your communication has been electronic. Now you’ve landed in the real world, and real-world relationships are difficult.
4) Make a plan.
Try not to be that person racing through terminals, having secured an last-minute invite from your love. Those looking to hook up will find this advice worthless. If this is you, enjoy the casual encounter. You will find that rushing makes the landing tricky.
For the reasonable traveler: Book a hotel room near your potential’s house, and find your own transportation. Remember, you are actually meeting for the first time. Prepare for the possibility that the connection will fizzle within a few hours, and don’t get stuck in an awkward situation.
Explore the town on your own at least once. Try not to spend every single minute together during the visit. Even if sparks are flying, at least you can look forward to returning. Happy traveling!